Recovering the Meaning of True Fellowship

“There is a crisis of caring in the Church of Jesus Christ today.”

Jerry Bridges in The Crisis of Caring, 9

From this very first sentence in the Preface of this book, I knew it was meant for me. I’ve long realized that I’m a selfish, self-absorbed person who doesn’t care well enough about other people. That’s not a boast, of course, but an admission.

“Caring about others” has never been on my daily to-do list, and I know it needs to change. I’ve known it for 40+ years, though, whish shows that knowing isn’t worth a hill of beans unless I’m also willing to do the hard work of change!

A Book on Fellowship, a Book on Spiritual Growth

I chose to read this book because I needed to renew my attention to Christian fellowship (somehow I completely missed the idea of “caring,” even though it’s in the title!). Where we live right now, we get lonely. No church, few friends, and even a crappy village road that makes evening strolls a chore. We’re becoming home-bodies, and that’s not a good thing in our line of work!

So a book on fellowship, a book about caring for others—and a book by the great Jerry Bridges no less!—is just what the Great Physician ordered. This review will be more a summary of my notes than a review, key passages and lessons that stood out to me as I read.

What Is Fellowship?

Through 12 chapters, Bridges investigates the New Testament’s use of the Greek word koinonia, most often translated as “fellowship” or “sharing.” In Chapter 1, he explains that fellowship isn’t merely a social activity among Christians (15). It instead involves sharing together in the form or relationships or partnerships. It also involves sharing with each other in communion and of personal possessions. This idea of communion was especially impactful for me, because it means that my communication with others believers should center on God, what He’s teaching me, and how He’s leading me (20-21).

Union with God

In Chapter 2, I had another “Aha!” moment. Bridges writes that in order for a believer to enjoy communion with Christ Jesus, he must first have union with Him—not just salvation but to be part of him, a partaker of him. (30) This discussion helped me realize why Paul used so often the phrase “in Christ” in his letters! Have you ever noticed it? Read Ephesians and count how many times it or “in him” is used. It’s shocking. John quoted Jesus saying the same in John 15, “Abide in me.”

God did not call us into association with Christ, but into union with him, into an actual sharing of his all-powerful life. (31)

The difference between ”Lord, help me” and ”Lord, enable me” is a matter of partial trust in our self-effort versus total reliance on Christ. (38)

I needed this shift in perspective again. It’s to easy to “be a Christian” and not be “in Christ”, abiding in Him and depending upon His power in me.

Communion with God

It’s been too easy with all of my other responsibilities to let my mind wander into distractions and away from the Lord. Earlier this year, I even published an article on the issue—“Distractions: What Keeps You from Living a Full Life?” I loved the metaphor of a compass Bridges quotes in Chapter 3 and his application of it:

Dallas Willard asked: ”Does her mind spontaneously return to God when not intensely occupied, as the needle of the compass turns to the North Pole when removed from nearer magnetic sources?” If we are serious about communion with God, we must honestly face that question. (48)

Spiritual Fellowship

I saw his entire chapter 5 as a strong argument for why missionaries on the field need teammates, and if not teammates officially, then at least friends from their own cultural background. It’s not a matter of discipleship but of edification, mutual uplifting and counsel. It’s the need for a “bosom friend” as the Puritans called it (80). I can understand the need.

In Chapter 5, Bridges also describes the importance of talking our thoughts out to trusted confidantes. This is such a good quote!

There is an old adage that says, “Words disentangle themselves when passing over the lips or through the pencil tips.” As we share our thoughts with others, we learn because we are forced to organize and develop our ideas. (82)

Partnership in the Gospel

The reality of ministry is that a few people do the work of many. The 80/20 principle is alive and well in the Lord’s work, and we’ve grown used to it. There are, however, many things the average Christian cannot do. I’m involved with a ministry, for example, that helps send foreign missionaries into places Americans simply can’t go (want more info? Contact me!). In this case, Christians are called to partner with others in the Gospel, either financially or prayerfully, and thus help carry the burden.

I was excited to see that Bridges even writes about this unique type of ministry:

One of the most critical needs, however, is found in the instruction of Jesus, who told his disciples to pray for workers to go into the harvest field (Matthew 9:38). Perhaps the most pressing need on the mission field today is for God to raise up workers from within the ranks of each country’s own people. Consequently, the most urgent task of the missionary today is training workers from the country where he is working. We ought to pray to this end. In fact, this particular prayer request — for God to raise up national workers — is my number-one prayer request as I pray for missions and missionaries around the world. (102)

Sharing Your Possessions

In Chapter 8, Bridges shares the following indictment of the modern church’s lack of intimate concern for each other:

Despite the clear setting of these scriptural principles in the context of relieving the distress of other believers, most present-day Christians have lost sight of this important aspect of giving. We in the Body tend to give to our local churches, to various parachurch ministries at home, and mission works overseas, but we tend to give very little to other members of the Body in need. The reason for this, I believe, lies in the fact that we have lost sight of the true meaning of fellowship, of the biblical practice of koinonia. (141)

When I read this, I wrote in my notes that many Christians have fallen into the trap of thinking, “If it’s non-tax-deductible, it’s not worth it.” And then on page 142, Bridges mentions that exact thing! Great minds…

Conclusion

I’m a self-absorbed person. Maybe that’s not a unique problem to have, even for a Christian, but it’s a problem that I know needs fixing.

This book has certainly helped me recognize again my need to look outward. It’s proven to me that my own koinonia—my own “fellowship and “sharing”—is lacking, and it’s time for change. “Where to start?” is the question, but I’ve got an idea.

In the immortal words of Dorothy, “There’s no place like home.”

©2025 E.T.

See More from Jerry Bridges:

• The Pursuit of Holiness (1978)
• The Practice of Godliness (1983)
• The Crisis of Caring (1985)
• True Fellowship (1985)
• The Discipline of Grace (1994)
• The Gospel for Real Life (2002)
• The Chase (2003)
• Respectable Sins (2007)