Perhaps the most classic book of the past century, and I toss it onto the “I Give Up” pile? What in the world’s wrong with me!?

I hate to say it, but like many in our entertainment-driven culture, I’ve fallen victim to the classic blunder: “Movie-Before-Book.” I’m ashamed.

I grew up with an active imagination, but wizards and fairies and dwarves were never my thing. I didn’t even see the epic film until it first came out on VHS! But now that I’ve tasted both, I can’t imagine why anyone would choose the original over the update.

I get it: Peter Jackson wouldn’t be where he is without the books. That’s a great point. But while Jackson might have yanked the creative coattails of Tolkien until he reached his own perpetual stardom (and he might still be riding that wave 2 full decades later), I argue that it only takes about 3 minutes with the book in one hand and the films in the other to figure out that Jackson’s vision is so far more breathtaking than Tolkien’s, and that the book seems insultingly childish by comparison.

I enjoyed the extended and additional scenes in the book (like getting the “Writer’s Cut” after watching Jackson’s 3+ hour “Director’s Cut”), but I finally put the book down when I realized that I could be reading something that entertains or teaches me more that this wordy fiction. Continuing with the book would have only felt like fulfilling my responsibility to humanity, but I honestly don’t think humanity cares all that much about whether I finished it or not. So I simply chose not to. Perhaps my kids someday will, but only if I refuse to let them watch the movie first.

©2015 E.T.